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Posted by / 22-Dec-2017 23:40

How to tell your kids you are dating after divorce

We instantly imagine it's the poor, beleaguered ex-wife who is left to struggle under his oppression and vicious attacks—emotionally, financially, and sometimes even physically.

When we think of couples going through "an ugly divorce," people often assume that if one side is being an emotional bully, it's the .

The bottom line is this: We only have one go-around, and we all deserve happiness.

No one should plan on simply acquiescing to a life of misery.

Children, it seems, get the short end of the stick. Here's one more thing to consider: There is never just a single reason people remain together; there are many, many reasons couples decide to stick it out. People choose to remain married because they want companionship, sex, financial security, family ties, extended family, someone with whom to share responsibilities, a person to grow old with, a preference to share life as opposed to going it alone and so on.

It's better for kids, they say, to have two happy parents who lead separate lives than to be exposed to sadness, emotional distance, and conflict in their family. And then there are second marriages and the unique challenges of step-families.Went and lived with his mother for awhile while we went through the proceedings to get officially divorced. I couldn’t give him that list because I felt that if I did, he might work on them and then expect everything to be OK.I felt it would never be OK and to ask him to work on our relationship would be deceptive, holding out false hope. we even went on a family vacation which I will forever remember as the worst vacation I’ve been on.When we did go home after, he went out by himself and didn’t come home for about three days. I was the one to say, “I don’t love you anymore,” that I wanted a divorce. It wasn’t that he didn’t know my deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our marriage but maybe he hadn’t taken our previous conversations seriously enough.When he arrived home, he arrived to a note that I had written to him that basically said, “If you can’t be a husband or a father, you can’t live here anymore.” And so he left. On the other hand, I felt if he’s not even going to be bothered to hang around the house at Christmas time with the kids, then staying together for the kids is hypocritical because he wasn’t around for the kids. “If you’re not going to be here for me or your children, then what the heck’s the point? I think he’d been expecting a list of behaviors that he could work on.

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Honestly, I thought that, too, until one of my male family members went through a divorce years ago. We all believe we're in the right by default, but are you? To clarify, this is one of the cruelest and most vicious ex-wife bully tactics.

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